Story of My Life

A Letter To Jeffree:

Dear Jeffree Star,

You’re probably never going to read this but I just wanted to let you know how much I love you and how much you changed my life. I poured my heart out in the last letter I wrote and my browser went back and erased it. Damn computers lol. But, I’m gonna write it again.

I’m just a teenager from the little town of Rochester, Pennsylvania who has gone through alot. And Jeffree, you are one of the only reasons I got through it all.

It all began in 2009, I was a seventh grader and I was being bullied alot. I walked and talked feminine and never really liked girls. But I made the mistake of telling my friends that I was gay. They outed me to the entire school and I got the bullying triple as worse. I dived into music and stumbled upon your cover of “Boom Boom Pow”. It was so explicit, but at the same time, you were so free in your music and didn’t give a fuck what people had to say about you. That was exactly what I needed to get me off my ass and let go of my insecurities. I then went looking for more of your music, and that’s when I found the Beauty Killer album. You really kicked ass and still didn’t give a fuck about people’s opinions of how you dressed or what you sang about. My mom never approved of me listening to you. She was like “He’s too flamboyant”. I really didn’t care for her opinion and still went on listening to you and all the music by you that I could find.

When 2011 came around, I really expirienced a horrible thing in my life. I was raped and had it rubbed in my face every day at my new school. The school did all they could and I just tried to deal with it. I started to cut myself and contemplate suicide. Then, I heard “Kiss It Better”. It really empowered me to take my feelings of being hurt and get over them. I walked into school the next day and started to live my life happily.

Jeffree, if it wasn’t for your music, I might be dead right now. I might have killed myself. You don’t know me, but you are really the one person I look up to the most. You are the reason I’m here right now. I’m crying my eyes out writing this. To think that you might read this just makes me so happy. It makes me feel like I really can have someone in the world who understands what it means to be different and unique. You really have an amazing personality.

On March 26th, 2012 (8:11PM EST to be exact), you retweeted my tweet about the dubstep remix of “Prom Night”. I cried. All night. I couldn’t stop crying during the next day of school. One of my friends had to slap me in the face so I’d shut up haha. It made me so happy that I you read one of my tweets. I have memorized most of your songs and almost all of the verses you’ve done in other people’s songs. My favorite is Deuce’s song “Let’s Get It Crackin’ “. I have it memorized and I rap it almost every day. All I wanted in my life is to be happy and you gave that to me. You gave me happiness.

It’s time for me to close this off, but I just want you to know that I will never stop listening to your music and I love you dearly. I don’t expect you to respond, but I just wanted to tell you how much you’ve changed my life for the better.

With Love,

Tommy Kraus